Good Morning, Neighbor

I looked out my bathroom window this morning and somehow noticed my neighbor sitting on the roof of his house, smoking a cigarette (or a joint?) with a friend. They were looking down into my back yard, and no doubt watched as I turned the blinds from open to closed. The reason I think they watched as I closed the blinds is because I am pretty sure I made eye contact, which is just beyond awesome, and not in the least disturbing.

After closing the blinds, I took a shower and went about preparing for work. But I could not shake the feeling that I would just LOVE to wrap my hands around that red neck of his and strangle him to death.

That is how he makes me feel, I guess. Predated to be sure, but also choked. Like I cannot do what I would normally do in my own house, which is walk around naked with my blinds open to the downpour of new morning sunlight. It just makes me happy to do that. I'm constrained all day long, and I need that small freedom. Heck, we all need to take pleasure in the small wonderful things of life, and that is one of my small wonderful things - to be able to look at sunlight and trees through my windows in the morning. {Also? It is one of the reasons I bought this house in the first place. Because the back yard (at that point) was totally secluded. Because someone had NOT, at that point, cut down all of the shrubbery on his side of the chain link fence. Which is where all of the privacy was planted, as I later found out.}

Driving to work, I kept experiencing vivid imaginings of cold-blooded murder. I could get a shot gun and blow a hole in his chest. I could sneak up behind him with a sharp knife. I won't go on, but you get the picture. *In short, there is something very, very wrong with me.

Also, however, he is a creep and a jerk. This is a guy who has a fire pit in his back yard. A fire pit that he sits by as he lifts weights. THIS IS OUTSIDE. HE LIFTS WEIGHTS OUTSIDE. Also, I barracaded his access to seeing my back yard - while he is working out at the fire pit in his back yard - by planting bamboo on my side of the chain link fence. So what does my neighbor do to solve that problem? He climbs up onto his roof, that's what he does.

He and his friend climb up onto his roof, at 7:00 in the morning.

Were it only that I could have such determination, resolve, and weird punk-ass energy. I might just be able to change the world.

*Please note that I could never follow through with my homocidal imaginings. I'm just prone to inner dialogue hyperbole.